Dear Angie

I'm sorry I haven't talked to you for so long. I feel like I've been lost. No bearings, no compass. I kept crashing in the same thing, a little crazy I guess. I've never been lost before. You were my true north and I can always steer home when you are my home. Forgive me for being so angry with you when you left. I still think some mistakes have been make and I am waiting for god to take it back.

The works help me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always help me like the thunder, rock me like a child. All I remember from the dream is the feeling of peace and to tell you I'm sorry about so many things. I am sorry I didn't take better care of you so that you never spend one minute being cold or scared or sick. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words of what I was feeling. I'm sorry if I ever fought with you. I am sorry that I didn't apologize more. I was too proud. I am sorry I didn't bring you more compliments on everything you wore, do and every way you fix your hair. I am sorry that I didn't hold on to you with so much strength that god couldn't pull you away.

There isn't an hour of my life without you in it. I mend the hurt of mind, test them and all the while memories come in like the tide.

I was thinking today of the time when we were in Melbourne growing and developing. And you left for Kuala Lumpur, home. I was a lot more scared than I would admit. I fought my fear by telling myself you'll come back soon and tried to think of the first thing I would say to you when I see you again. I must have tried out 100 possibilities. What did I finally say, not much. My mouth won't work, except to kiss you and when you said "I miss you very much and I am here to stay… and anti-unhappiness" that set it all.

Well, I'm doing it again. I keep imagine what to say to you everytime I see you. I couldn't hide my feelings from you cause I know how deep my love towards you and how much I miss you like the desert miss the rain.

This is a message and a prayer.

The message is, my travel thought me a great truth. I already had what everyone in this world is searching for and few ever find. The one person in the world who I was born to love forever.

A person like me. The person of outer banks and the blues of Altantic mystery. A person rich and simple treasures, self made and self thought. A harbour where I'm forever home. No wind or trouble or a little death can knock down this house.

A prayer is that everyone in this world can know this kind of love and be heel by it. If my prayer is heard, I now will be in the racing of all guilt and all regret, end to the anchor.

If some lifes form a perfect circle, others takes shapes in ways we cannot predict are always understandable. Lost have been a part of my journey, but it also have shown me what is precious, so has a love of which I can only be grateful.

All My Love Always & Forever

Ming